I think about stuff like that all the time. My mind is a virtual wasteland of nostalgia and mottled memories.
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Did you know:
As a child, I had a one-legged lesbian neighbor that moved to Budapest? True story.
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Me: Mom?
Mom: [from the living room] What?!
Me: The microwave popcorn didn't work.
Mom: Good! We'll mail it to Orville Redenbacher so he can shove it up his ass!
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Uptown Jackie Red + Midtown Jackie Green = Downtown Jackie Brown
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Can you, in good taste, use a white lighter after Labor Day?
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Put a little lift in your day. Try new caffeinated Kotex.
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Me: Amy, can you pass the salt?
Amy: Uh, Pokémon, what's the magic word?
Me: [pause] Vagina?
Amy: [passes me the salt]
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"There are no more oil-based concealers to conquer." - Alexander the Great
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I would be busy too;
For Satan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do."
-from "Divine Songs in Easy Language for the Use of Children", Issac Watts
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Tell me things. I like stories.