Monday, March 11, 2019

Papa Poopagain and other tales

I have been labeled "the odd man out" because I'm one of the few people in my life that doesn't like Taco Bell. It goes through me like shit through a goose. It has also, on a number of occasions, caused me to involuntarily vocalize during a bowel movement. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy eating and then twenty minutes later running to the bathroom to bellow loudly whilst evacuating.

I am already frequently visited by Papa Poopagain. He is basically like the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny; a specialized imaginary character with a limited scope. Did you just poop five minutes ago and now suddenly you have to go again? Papa Poopagain. Did you literally just flush the toilet and pull your pants up only to realize there is still more to come? Papa Poopagain. I only recently revealed my belief in Papa Poopagain to my significant other to which he replied, "You are my favorite person."

There isn't any intact mythology surrounding Papa Poopagain. I haven't really thought about it much, to be honest. My gut tells me that he's an eternal being that has always been with us. There is no way to appease him. We are all slaves to his whim.

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I'm watching Season 11 of RuPaul's Drag Race: a show I enjoy mostly because I hate it. All I will say at this point in the season is that no one has grabbed me by the shoulders and screamed "I'm your favorite!" in my face. No one is wowing me. I'm thoroughly underwhelmed if that counts for anything. The writing is worse than ever, underscored by the larger-than-life production value (a budget they clearly aren't spending on writers or Ru's dresses).

All tea, all shade.

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The music at my job has been trapped in the 90's for weeks. Most people seem unbothered and "just block it out", but I am not able to do so. My mind hyperfocuses on the Hootie and the Blowfish song and it becomes torture. This is not helped by the fact that my employer (a nameless multi-billion dollar corporation) seems to have only purchased about fifteen songs that play over and over again at the same times every day. So Hell, basically.

There is never a good time for a Sugar Ray song. How about two in one day? How about we add a couple of Smashmouth songs to that and follow it up with some Hanson? It makes you wonder who is making these decisions and whether or not they deserve to continue living among us.

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Also, as I find it difficult to motivate myself, if you have anything you'd like me to write about please post it in the comments below. I have a lot to say about most things, and I find most things disagreeable to some extent. Don't be shy.









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